Anyway, sarasa_cat was discussing several problems with Tumblr, including the tendency for misinterpretation, wank or tangents to set off a long reblog chain, partially or wholly unrelated to the original post, and often removed from its context. And by the time the OP can reply to the initial wank and correct any misunderstandings, it's too late: the Discourse has taken on a life of its own.
I described those participating in such a thread as "discourse lemmings." (I was thinking especially of those who react to the posts at the bottom of the reblog chain rather than to the OP.)
A term I'd already forgotten, and it might come in handy, so, there. Free to use.
This suggests to me that both sides of his family, and in fact everyone else of his acquaintance, have deliberately kept him out of Serious Business concerns, and have probably done so from day one. It further suggests that, despite that, he’s gotten regular confirmation that he’s valued and loved. Watching the way he interacts with everyone except the Marquis, even while things are falling apart and blowing up, I think we can bet on this–there’s been a feedback loop there, his whole life, in which Jingrui is open hearted and is therefore cherished by his family, and therefore keeps being open hearted and trusting, and is therefore sheltered, and so on.
Which means that Jingrui probably also has a tendency to go with the flow and trust that everything will turn out, until or unless he’s whacked over the head with something that is clearly Wrong in some way. (Jingrui inspires me to use capitals, too.) So shifting his relationship with Yujin, especially if we assume Yujin has been taking some trouble to be a bit misdirecting thanks to his fear to screwing things up, is… going to take some work, let’s put it that way.
I do find it interesting that Jingrui apparently idolized Lin Shu (at least, Yujin says he was the one always running after Lin Shu, and dragging Yujin along), and keeps idolizing him, even in disguise. Jingrui might not /do/ the incisive insight thing, but he does seem to /respect/ it, very highly. (One possibility here: that he notices this characteristic as it comes out more strongly in Yujin.) I suspect part of Jingrui’s youthful cousin-crush was also that Lin Shu was already in the military. Jingrui gets the warrior thing from both sides of his family, both the in-system and out-system versions. I suspect the military is genuinely Jingrui’s career goal, insofar as he has one; the camaraderie of soldiers, as presented in the story, seems very like what Jingrui values in his relationships, and it’s what he’s been raised to. (Alternate possibility: Jingrui and Yujin’s squads can’t take the pining any longer and set them up.)
So, if Yujin is currently Prince Ji’s understudy, I kind of think Jingrui is Meng’s. The trick will be moving them both toward a little conjoint personal development when both characters have so much inertia built up in their current positions.
from Tumblr http://ift.tt/2sxqpcy
Of the three editors working on the collection, the male one just got back to me to say that he would be happy to accept my essay, but that he wants me to make it racist. "Can you tell me more about the cultural context of this piece?" he asks, which seems reasonable until he begins his series of follow-up questions. "For example," he says, "why do the Japanese find women so frightening?" Each question is worse than the last, but my favorite is, "Why is Japan so dysfunctional?" It's like, I don't know, Mr. White British Dude, why don't you tell me why the majority ethnicities of small island countries have weird anxieties relating to cultures other than what they perceive to be their own.
I don't want to be That Writer who is difficult to work with, but... I mean... I would feel weird if I didn't say something, even if it means this essay doesn't get published in this particular venue. I guess, as always, the keyword is "gently."
The first thing that comes to mind is that Yujin is seriously Prince Ji’s understudy, which in turn suggests immediately that Yujin’s sunny smile is a bit of a front. This is not actually surprising, given that Yujin’s family life kind of shafted him. He’s the son of a woman his father didn’t love, and has been pretty roundly ignored by his father all his life. No matter how well-adjusted a kid is, that leaves a mark. I also note that Yujin is the one who says Lin Shu was impatient with the younger kids and not fun to be around, and that Jingrui was the one who dragged them both after Lin Shu all the time. Yujin preferred Prince Qi.
Now that’s interesting. Because Yujin is clearly reasonably smart, and very observant; he follows along with all the complicated plans easily. But he preferred the significantly older Prince Qi to the brilliant and older but still part of his own generation Lin Shu. So, yeah, I’m checking the box for “dad issues” here, and running on the supposition that Yujin has basically been hungry for any kind of father figure (which probably also ties into his friendship with Prince Ji).
And I have to wonder whether Yujin’s social-butterfly mode isn’t a way of reassuring himself that, whatever’s wrong with him (because of course he thinks there’s something wrong with him) it can’t be /too/ bad, right? You can see hints of this anxiety in what he says when he comes to thank MCS for fixing his family–thanking him for /allowing Yujin to be properly filial, which he’s been failing to do/. Of course Yujin frames this as all his fault, and I don’t think that’s purely down to cultural convention.
Yujin is a very accomplished fighter (in the top ten of the tournament, survives the attack on the spring hunt) and quite willing to follow Jingrui around the pugilist world, but he has no contacts of his own there. He also isn’t the understudy of any of the military types, so I’m guessing that the military was never an ambition of his. Instead, he’s following as closely as possible in his family’s diplomatic footsteps (put another check in “dad issues” I’m thinking) which may, therefore, be both his hope and his interest. He’s definitely the one who reads people best, identifying right away when someone is having a one on one and dragging Jingrui away, setting up Prince Ji to witness Wei’s escape, etc.
Interpersonally… well, here’s where he gets slippery. Because Yujin seems to have no personal friends or connections besides Jingrui. He’s cut off from his family, for most of the series, and his social activities center, not to put too fine a point on it, among paid companions. He’s socially adept, but I’m guessing that he’s going to have some problems with any kind of mid-range relationships (not father or Jingrui but not courtesans either). And if there’s the slightest hint that something he does might injure his relationship with his father or Jingrui, he’s almost certainly going to strike that off the menu of options rather than risk it.
…which suggests that it’s /Jingrui/ who’s going to have to make the first move, oh god. Because Yujin will /never risk it/. That’s it, right there. *headdesk* Oh, this’ll be such a pain. Okay, need to think about Jingrui next.
from Tumblr http://ift.tt/2tFJ1q7
- I wrote a 5,000 word report regarding my business in Tokyo.
- I was really surprised to find that some of the questions I was asked to answer in my report reflected weird American stereotypes concerning Asians ("Did you find that [people] were able to voice their opinions instead of acting according to group consensus?") and the Japanese ("Were [people] unnecessarily cruel in any situation?"), so I had a long (to the tune of about four thousand words) email conversation with my liaison in which I requested that this racist nonsense be rectified.
- I wrote a slightly different version of the report in Japanese that weighed in at about 4,000 characters.
- I got invited to visit the North American headquarters of Nintendo in November. I accepted this invitation, OBVIOUSLY.
Cross-post from my archive.
Fandom/Arc: Nirvana in Fire, In Every Time and Season
Characters/Pairings: Cai Quan, Eunuch Gao, Gong Yu, Jingyan/Shu, Li Len, Lin Shu | Mei Changsu, Liu An, Mu Nihuang, Nihuang/Shu, Shen Zhui, Xia Dong, Xiao Jingyan, Xiao Xuan, Zhao Wei
Summary: Lin Shu and Nihuang settle into life at court, in the field, and in Jingyan's home while Lin Manor is repaired. The rest of the court may need a few stiff drinks to recover from the process, especially once a complex political scandal breaks in the middle of it.
Meta: Drama with Politics and Porn, I-4
( Red Heart and White Sword )
Now Jingyan returned his gaze, steady and serious. "Even though you hoped to be done with being the strategist, after Prince Qi, my brother's, and Lin's and Chiyan's names were restored?"
For a long moment, he was silent, because that had been true. "I did finish with it, though," he said at last, slowly. "And I returned to my old self, my own world, long enough to die there. I thought that would be the end of it, and I still believe I was right about that. This," he swept a hand around, at the palace, at the ministers and officials and ladies moving through the halls and gardens, each intent on their own ends and ambitions, and the three of them in the middle of it all, "this is what comes after that end, another new life." He gave Jingyan a tiny smile. "Now, what I can do, all that I can do, is for you and with you, nothing held back. That's as it should be, and I have no wish to be done with it."
Fandom: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Celestino Cialdini/Christophe Giacometti
Characters: Celestino Cialdini, Christophe Giacometti
Additional Tags: Porn with Feelings, Hotel Sex, Anal Sex, Hook-Up, Age Difference
At competitions, Christophe has an arrangement where he doesn't know who will show up in his room at night. After the GPF Free Skate, he waits to find out who it will be this time.
He's half-asleep again when he hears the click of the door. Soft footfalls crossing the room. Christophe leaves his eyes closed and moves against the bed.
Montréal -40°C (4593 words) by Halrloprillalar
Fandom: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Relationships: Jean-Jacques Leroy/Original Male Hockey Player, Otabek Altin/Jean-Jacques Leroy
Characters: Otabek Altin, Jean-Jacques Leroy
Additional Tags: Pre-Canon, Dubious Consent, Blow Jobs, Facials, Voyeurism, Masturbation, Hockey, Sadness, JJ Is Our King
Pre-canon. While Otabek is training in Montreal over the summer, he and JJ take part in a charity celebrity hockey game with the Canadian national juniors team. One hockey player in particular seems to be targeting JJ.
"It's for charity," JJ says, leaning over the boards and waving his phone. There's something about his face, puppy-eager, that pinches Otabek, two sharp fingers on the edge of his heart.
- Inui Sadaharu/Tezuka Kunimitsu (Prince of Tennis): he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant. (E)
- Fuji Shuusuke/Kawamura Takashi (Prince of Tennis): Terraforming (featuring war-weary Taka and weird alien Fuji) (T)
- Inui Sadaharu/Tezuka Kunimitsu (Prince of Tennis): Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet. (E)
Is it too late to not use Taoist color symbolism for the titles in this arc? It is, isn’t it? *sighs*
from Tumblr http://ift.tt/2tAh8iZ
“The coalescence of femslash as a metafandom unto itself may have paradoxically contributed to a bird's-eye view of its marginality. As we might glean from the primacy of slash as the unmarked term (denoting same-sex couples in general and male-male couples in particular), F/F remains underrepresented not only in scholarly research but also arguably in fandom overall (compared to M/M and also to het [heterosexual] and gen [nonsexual] fiction and art).
Femslash fans often frame their experience in this way, as was the case at the "Where's the F/F?" panel at the May 2015 WisCon feminist science fiction convention in Madison, Wisconsin. The conversation took as a jumping-off point detailed statistics, compiled by destinationtoast, on fan fiction posted at Archive of Our Own.”
TWC issue No 24 on femslash fandom is out! Read about Grey's Anatomy Wynonna Earp, The 100, Orphan Black, Once Upon a Time, Kpop, Jpop & more! https://goo.gl/n59EMJ
...wherein a depressed young woman finds the validation and acceptance she's been craving from an online community that supports her. I'm immensely happy for the artist, but this also breaks my heart. This is exactly how I thought it would be for me, and this is what I wanted from fandom, but it never happened.
There's another page in the manga where the artist describes feeling "like being at ninety-five percent rejection" just about all of the time, so that when she experiences even a small rejection it's like the end of the world for her. I think, more than anything, this explains why I tend to get so butthurt about Tumblr. I always feel like I'm already at 95% rejection, so then when I turn to fandom, expecting to find validation and acceptance, the extra 5% of rejection destroys me.
Just as the artist describes it, I have a feeling that I'm not working hard enough, and that I will never be able to work hard enough for my work to be accepted. I'm not depressed like the artist, but this sort of ongoing existential crisis creates the exact same sense of emotional precarity. I wish that fandom could function as a way to escape this emotional precarity for me as it did for her, but I'm already expending so much energy just treading water that I really can't see where I need to go to make that happen.
For the time being, I'm laying low while I take a small break to recover a bit of stamina.
so i've talked here a lot about fibromyalgia, and stress, and energy and chronic fatigue, and the concept of overcharging on a credit card and then having to pay the balance and interest later; it's an analogy that feels pretty close to the experience, just another way to phrase the spoon theory. I've been managing this on a microscale for the last couple years: spend all my energy at work, push off the crash until i get home, have no energy to do anything; repeat. well, it turns out this happens on the macroscale as well, as i found out last week when i finally had the first part of the breakdown i've been holding off for four years running.
i took two days off of work to manage it - yeah, i haven't even been here a month and i'm taking vacation, but they know about my health problems and are v understanding - and it was ... just ... weird
it's very overwhelming when all the bullshit you've been suppressing for four years straight decides to come due and crash down on you all at once. and it isn't over -- you can't recover from four years in ten days, you just can't.
but that's where i am, and that's what is happening, and my partner and i had an incredibly pleasant lazy weekend and he also cleaned my entire kitchen (as in, exiled me to the couch to relax while he cleaned it, which did lead to a massive meltdown on my part, but worked eventually when i fell asleep on the couch) and we went to the farmer's market and bought delicious fresh local food and veggies and fruits, so i have good motivation to eat well and take care of myself this week.
i'm very wary of what else might be behind the (cracking, breaking) dam, waiting to flood me out, but ... if i could handle those four years, i can handle whatever backlash they're gonna dish out