[Hikaru no Go] Fic: Go! Salon!

[flonnebonne]

Go! Salon!

It was a rough crowd that frequented this salon, Hikaru could tell. The smoke was so thick he could almost chew on it. Chew on it like a cigar. Like all the cigars people were chewing on in here. Yeah, that's what it felt like.

"Touya, I'm here!" he announced.

A dozen heads slowly craned around to stare at him. A man behind the counter was pouring a drink into a dirty glass and squinting his beady little eyes. "You the sheriff?" he asked, but it sounded more like, "Yeeeww the shirrrriiifff?"

Hikaru blinked. "No, I'm Shindou 2-dan. What's the name of this salon?"

"You got the wrong place, boyo. This here's a saloon."

"My mistake," Hikaru replied with an embarrassed bow before skedaddling out of there.

---

"Touya, where the heck are you?" Hikaru screamed, trying to be heard above all the noise in this place.

"Aren't you a little young to be in here?" yelled a man who was seated in front of some kind of large glass and metal rectangular device in which small silver spheres could be seen pinging all over the place and could be heard making lots of paching! paching! paching! noises and this was a pachinko salon, wasn't it.

"Yes, I'm too young to be in here! Bye!"

The man didn't even blink.

---

"What is this place?" Hikaru asked without preamble.

A very scary, very familiar face loomed in front of him. "I think you took a wrong turn," said Kaga, puffing on his cigarette as he slammed a shougi piece on the board in front of him.

Hikaru coughed on the smoke. "See you some other time, Kaga."

---

"This better not be a goddamn Othello salon."

"You bet it is! Wanna play?"

"No thanks, bye."

---

"Touya, I'm here!" Hikaru declared as he opened the doors to what he knew was the right building.

The woman at the counter stared at him. "Do you have an appointment?"

"No, I'm meeting someone--this is a hair salon, isn't it?"

"Yes," said a seated woman whose head was encased in some kind of glass dome. She didn't even look up from her magazine.

"YES, I've found it! Er, have you seen my friend? His name's Touya Akira, he looks like a girl. He needs a haircut real bad."

"Shindou," said Touya, appearing out of nowhere. "What are you talking about?"

"Touya! Finally!"

"What do you mean, finally? You're the one who's late. As usual."

"I'm not the one who wanted to meet somewhere stupid like this. Nice haircut by the way."

"Thanks. Are we going to go now?"

"Yeah, yeah. So where's this go salon you were talking about?"

"Well...you see, Ogata-san was supposed to show it to me today but he said he was too busy, so I'm not sure where it is. I thought we could just look in the buildings around here and hopefully we'll find it--Shindou, where are you going?"

"To the saloon, for a drink. You dumbass."

-End-

---

Author's notes:

I wrote this fic entirely out of a desire to make salon/saloon jokes. And yes, I realize now that it's pachinko parlours, not salons, but it's too late now, damn it!

Before I had a title for this fic, the text file was labelled "dumb idea."

Also, I'm rather annoyed that it turned out to be Yet Another Fic That Makes Fun of Touya's Hair, but I couldn't think of any other way to end it. Go salons...hair salons...same diff.

Comments

[zoesque.livejournal.com]

Making fun of Touya's hair is an officially-sanctioned sport of Hikago fandom, what are you talking about! XDDD

His name's Touya Akira, he looks like a girl.

That is actually the best introduction ever. One can only imagine what Touya would come up with in retaliation. XD

Also I love that you used the word 'skedaddling'. I'm easy that way. <333

[(Anonymous)]

But, but, I've already written a whole fic that was all about hair! Quota, people, quota!

Touya doesn't have any ammo to retaliate because IT'S THE GODDAMN TRUTH DAMN IT!!!

I like easy girls. :) (hee, this is actually a nerdy joke in disguise because I recently found out that "yasashii" can mean "easy" or "nice").

[flonnebonne]

....that was obviously me. Right?

[ramble-corner.livejournal.com]

LOL you made my day ^___^

[flonnebonne]

Glad to be of service!

[issen4.livejournal.com]

Now you're making think about smoke-flavored chewing gum. Guh, that must taste horrible.

I second zoesque's comment about

His name's Touya Akira, he looks like a girl

as one of the best introductions ever. Thanks for the fun!

[issen4.livejournal.com]

making me think, I mean.

[flonnebonne]

Isn't that what tobacco tastes like?? (I'm clueless)

I admit that I cackled a little while writing that line. Cackled in my head, that is. Because I'm not a crazy person who sits in her dark little apartment composing strange words. No.

Glad you enjoyed. :)

[aishuu.livejournal.com]

Oh, it's so punny it hurts. ^_~ From laughing.

[flonnebonne]

Puns are the highest form of humour, yo. Glad you enjoyed. :)

[imbrii.livejournal.com]

<3<3<3 Puns! This one hadn't occurred to me, but that's probably because I'm not big on westerns. And "go" provides so many jokes by itself.

[flonnebonne]

The saloon pun probably didn't occur to you because you're not demented like some other person I could mention. -_-

I have to mentally whack myself to not make "go" puns all the time. But at least it's an officially sanctioned pun!

[ukefied.livejournal.com]

"You the sheriff?"

I love you.

[flonnebonne]

I wuv you too!