Incredibly rich, full of development, reads really well (save a few parts where I think you loaded up on a bit too many commas but I know that's what you like doing at this point), and just... yeah. You're still super fucking awesome. This feels like one of your longer one-shots but I must say it's engrossing and gives me more belief you can totally absolutely should must do a novel someday god damnit.
Though this is one of your longer ones, what I admire the most is that you're consistently barebones but consistently GOOD at your writing. Nothing is wasted and everything had purpose and FITS. Whenever I go back and re-read your stuff I always get awed by not how there's nothing to really cut, but more that there's nothing to really add.
The more I write the more I get concerned about how much description an author really needs to include. I think you suffer from the same weakness as me in being very sparse with describing settings and characters and I'm so totally biased because of that, but damnit at least when you do it I feel like it works. I feel something from the way you put the words together and I think that's enough.
Clarisse is cool beans but even after re-reading a few times I'm still kind of meh about her characterization at the very start. Mostly because her swearing seems a bit jarring given her age and how Celes is. You set her up well and she evolves in the fic. obviously, but I think that's the one part of her that seems too adult given the ages you set up at the start. I know all this stuff about yadda yadda opposites and sisters and Lower Quarters and what not, but I would have preferred progression of swear word intensity throughout the fic. (Am I seriously discussing swear word intensity? Christ.)
Your Celes is so fucking good that I'm pretty sure you're actually Celes. Which would be kind of hot.
Their relationship is written really well and though I felt some of the progressions were a bit abrupt, I also don't think it's very disruptive (which is back to my point that you always seem to do shit RIGHT without going overboard). Sure it's a bit moviesque and we can totally see Clarisse is going to whore herself out because what else would she do, but again it's all in the execution and your execution was outstanding. And speaking of which, I must say that I have to applaud ya for coming up with this prompt and AU, you creative sexy monster you. I wasn't sure what I would be getting into when I started reading and I feel it both matched and yet was contrary to my expectations, and I think that it's really admirable when an author can do that. You weren't super grimdark and though those fics. might have greater initial emotional impact, I think your approach is actually a lot more memorable and awesome and real. I'm still trying to outgrow that phase so I'm glad to see how shit should be done, and done well.
And speaking of done well, dat ending sis. Brought every fucking thing full circle, we have conclusion of the Clarisse/Celes relationship and all the growth they had, doves flew over rainbows in celebration, and yes it was great and I did feel just a little prick in my heart when:
"And though it aches ever so, Celes feels her heart swell with fear and love and above all courage, for her sister is a true knight through and through, no matter that it’s taken a long time for her to get here."
Coming from jaded douchebag me that tends to laugh at authors that try these kind of endings, that's when I know your execution is on point. And you are totally up in there in writing goddessdom.
You did so much justice to this idea and to the FF6 universe that all I can say is a) if you get to California I will be getting you bomb ass food and you better not fight it b) you somehow grow stronger with each writing so I'm pretty sure you might be a Magitek knight c) I am, as always, eagerly awaiting your next work.
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Incredibly rich, full of development, reads really well (save a few parts where I think you loaded up on a bit too many commas but I know that's what you like doing at this point), and just... yeah. You're still super fucking awesome. This feels like one of your longer one-shots but I must say it's engrossing and gives me more belief you can totally absolutely should must do a novel someday god damnit.
Though this is one of your longer ones, what I admire the most is that you're consistently barebones but consistently GOOD at your writing. Nothing is wasted and everything had purpose and FITS. Whenever I go back and re-read your stuff I always get awed by not how there's nothing to really cut, but more that there's nothing to really add.
The more I write the more I get concerned about how much description an author really needs to include. I think you suffer from the same weakness as me in being very sparse with describing settings and characters and I'm so totally biased because of that, but damnit at least when you do it I feel like it works. I feel something from the way you put the words together and I think that's enough.
Clarisse is cool beans but even after re-reading a few times I'm still kind of meh about her characterization at the very start. Mostly because her swearing seems a bit jarring given her age and how Celes is. You set her up well and she evolves in the fic. obviously, but I think that's the one part of her that seems too adult given the ages you set up at the start. I know all this stuff about yadda yadda opposites and sisters and Lower Quarters and what not, but I would have preferred progression of swear word intensity throughout the fic. (Am I seriously discussing swear word intensity? Christ.)
Your Celes is so fucking good that I'm pretty sure you're actually Celes. Which would be kind of hot.
Their relationship is written really well and though I felt some of the progressions were a bit abrupt, I also don't think it's very disruptive (which is back to my point that you always seem to do shit RIGHT without going overboard). Sure it's a bit moviesque and we can totally see Clarisse is going to whore herself out because what else would she do, but again it's all in the execution and your execution was outstanding. And speaking of which, I must say that I have to applaud ya for coming up with this prompt and AU, you creative sexy monster you. I wasn't sure what I would be getting into when I started reading and I feel it both matched and yet was contrary to my expectations, and I think that it's really admirable when an author can do that. You weren't super grimdark and though those fics. might have greater initial emotional impact, I think your approach is actually a lot more memorable and awesome and real. I'm still trying to outgrow that phase so I'm glad to see how shit should be done, and done well.
And speaking of done well, dat ending sis. Brought every fucking thing full circle, we have conclusion of the Clarisse/Celes relationship and all the growth they had, doves flew over rainbows in celebration, and yes it was great and I did feel just a little prick in my heart when:
"And though it aches ever so, Celes feels her heart swell with fear and love and above all courage, for her sister is a true knight through and through, no matter that it’s taken a long time for her to get here."
Coming from jaded douchebag me that tends to laugh at authors that try these kind of endings, that's when I know your execution is on point. And you are totally up in there in writing goddessdom.
You did so much justice to this idea and to the FF6 universe that all I can say is a) if you get to California I will be getting you bomb ass food and you better not fight it b) you somehow grow stronger with each writing so I'm pretty sure you might be a Magitek knight c) I am, as always, eagerly awaiting your next work.